Premature ejaculation is often simply defined as achieving a climax before you and your partner would like. This vague wording is meant to make it easier for men to identify when they have a problem and ultimately to be more comfortable when seeking help. But the truth is that the vague wording simply makes it more difficult for men to know if there actually is a problem.
How Soon is Too Soon?
The truth is that many men think women want them to last for hours once penetrative sex begins. These timeframes don’t take foreplay, teasing and other sex acts into consideration – it’s all about how long they last once the Main Event kicks off.
But how long do women really want men to last? Are they always looking for an epic night of sex that goes on for hours? Or is it more about quality as opposed to quantity? Several sexual performance studies have been done to measure how long sex lasts between different couples an in different environments but in 2004 researchers set out to ask women once and for all: What do you want in bed?
What a Girl Wants
The study on sexual performance, conducted by a team of researchers from the Psychology Department at the University of New Brunswick spoke to more than 150 heterosexual couples ranging in age from their 20s to into their 70s. None of the couples were reported in the study as dealing with sexual performance problems such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. For each couple, they asked the women to estimate how long they and their partners engaged in penetrative sex and foreplay during a typical session of lovemaking.
Women in the couples estimated that foreplay lasted around 11 minutes and that actual sex only lasted five to seven minutes. Previous studies that looked at how long sex actually lasts around five minutes so the women’s estimates may not have been fully accurate, but they were pretty close to clinical findings.
Once researchers knew how long these women felt sex was lasting, they then asked how long they’d like it all to last. Women responded they’d prefer foreplay to last an average of 19 minutes and for penetrative sex to be closer to the 10 or 11 minute mark. Basically they wanted to be having sex twice as long.
So does that mean any guy who can’t hit those benchmarks has premature ejaculation? No, far from it.
Premature Ejaculation vs Lowered Stamina
Low stamina is not the same as premature or early ejaculation. Many doctors have revised the way they talk about early ejaculation with men in order to make it clear that sexual dysfunction occurs when men simply climax much too early. While experts are reluctant to put a firm time limit on how they diagnose the problem, most agree there’s nothing to worry about until you’re talking about ejaculating less than a minute after penetration.
Many men can be dealing with lowered stamina and simply assume it’s premature ejaculation. But improving stamina is a fairly simple process and doesn’t require medical intervention. Cardiovascular workouts, improved nutrition and experimenting with different positions can all improve stamina – and give a boost to your technique. These simple, common sense measures can help a guy who currently lasts 5 minutes to achieve the goals set out by the 2004 study. Couple that with improved foreplay techniques and you’ve got the basis for giving women exactly what they want.
While there are no hard and fast rules about how long a sexual encounter should last, it should be long enough to satisfy both partners. Understanding the difference between lowered stamina and early ejaculation can help men address any issues they truly have while taking the steps they need to improve their overall performance. This can help men boost their sexual self-confidence and improve their sex life – a true win-win.
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