Recently I saw the following meme on an image sharing site. When I saw it, I laughed at first and then got a little angry. Check it out:
Men. If you’re doing this, it’s time to stop. Because let me tell you something:
You cannot hide premature ejaculation.
I’m hoping the creator of this meme was only joking but judging from conversations and threads I’ve seen on male health boards all over the Internet, there are definitely at least some guys who think they can actually hide the problem. But you can’t – and I’m gonna tell you why.
Girls Aren’t Dumb When it Comes to Male Sexual Health
There was a time when maybe women weren’t as knowledgeable when it came to male sexual health. Let’s face it, our society may be comfortable with sexualization but when it comes down to the nitty gritty of sexual performance and health, it can be difficult to get accurate information. A generation or so ago women may not have known much about the kinds of problems men experience when it comes to sexual performance but these days, articles on everything from erectile health to testosterone levels have gone positively mainstream.
So if you’ve gone from having even average levels of stamina to having to come up with ways to cover up the fact that you’re finished before she’s even started, then she knows something is up. Even if you’re doing everything you can to ensure she gets off – plenty of foreplay, non-penetrative sex and just focusing on her – she still knows something’s up. Premature ejaculation simply isn’t something you can hide or disguise for long.
But She Hasn’t Said Anything
Lots of guys reason that as long as their partner isn’t saying anything, that means she is entirely in the dark. But, again, this is simply ridiculous. Chances are that if she isn’t saying anything, it is because she knows you’re sensitive about it. Look, no one likes to tell their partner that they think there is a problem in the bedroom. At the same time, now talking about a problem as obvious as premature ejaculation will only result in adding tension and anxiety to your relationship. It will also attach those negative feelings to sex in general making the problem eve worse.
If your wife or girlfriend isn’t saying anything, then it is up to you to take the first step. Is talking about sexual performance awkward and uncomfortable? You bet, but there are some great reasons why it’s the best course of action.
Why It’s Worth Talking About
Opening up about sex isn’t always easy, even for couples who are pretty open about sex and have good communication. Sex is just one of those topics that can make a lot of people suddenly shy and weird. But starting an honest and open conversation about sex brings with it several benefits:
• Stress and Anxiety Levels Plummet – Trying to keep a secret is stressful no matter what. Trying to deal with a sexual performance problem without letting on about what you’re doing simply sabotages any effort you make to fix the problem.
• You’ll Have an Ally – Sharing you concerns and experiences with your partner gives you an instant ally in finding new ways to treat the condition. She is likely to do research on her own and may come to you with options on diet changes, new positions and different products that can help. Even if her ideas don’t pan out for the best, simply knowing you’re not fighting alone is a huge boost.
• It Opens the Door to Exploration – Opening up about sex is difficult at first but, over time, you will both become more comfortable. Beginning your conversation about ways to improve your performance and sex life in general will easily lead to conversations about fantasies, kinks and new things to try. An open channel of communication encourages you both to be more open with each other and more receptive to what each other has to say.
• It Will Almost Certainly Get You Laid – Let’s face it – women love when guys get vulnerable. Let it work for you and let her sympathetic ear become one you begin whispering sweet nothings into as the conversation progresses. Who knows, maybe she’ll be able to cure you tonight!
Keep Your Sense of Humour
Okay, so there’s no overnight cure, but taking this approach to premature ejaculation will help it from taking over your life. At the end of the day, it is important to remember that sex is meant to be fun, so be sure to keep your sense of humour about it. Don’t let yourself get too sensitive about the topic since that will only make you overly defensive and less likely to be willing to try new approaches. Get involved with groups online that offer sound advice, support and a bit of humour just to keep things in perspective.