When one person in a relationship has a problem, it’s common knowledge that both people have that problem. It’s true when it has to do with stress at work or just problems with home repairs but it’s especially true when it comes to issues with sexual performance.
For men, problems in the bedroom can feel isolating, but they’re anything but. A woman knows when her man is struggling to preform and, let’s be frank here, it’s kind of hard for men to hide problems like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. Still, many men attempt to ignore the problem publicly while they pursue treatment options privately.
Why You Can’t – And Shouldn’t – Do It Alone
Women understand that men aren’t exactly thrilled to discuss their performance issues and, more often than not, women will follow a man’s lead when it comes to discussing a problem like this. So when a guy doesn’t come to his partner to discuss it, not only does he end up feeling more isolated, so does she.
A 2014 study that took place at the University of Zurich aimed to determine what it was about premature ejaculation that frustrated women the most. The public assumption has always been that the problem women face with the condition is that the sex doesn’t last long enough. While there’s some truth to that, this study found there was another issue which actually bothered them more.
The researchers polled more than 1,500 women from three different countries and asked about the importance of ejaculation control. A full 40% of them said that was a very important part of their own sexual satisfaction. They also reported that sexual acts aside from penetration are just as important. That included kissing, fondling and teasing – actions normally thought of as simply foreplay to the Main Event but which are just as important to women as the actual act itself.
Another surprising finding was that the short duration of penetrative sex wasn’t the main issue that caused these women problems. The truth was that it was their man’s preoccupation with lasting longer that really drove them crazy. Many reported that they felt they were playing second fiddle to their man’s desire to increase his time and they felt he was more focused on improving his stamina than he was on improving technique.
How This Study Can Improve Your Sex Life
The results of this study give both men and women a new way to handle premature ejaculation. Of course, improving a man’s stamina is still important, but knowing that women value other forms of sex play just as much can help to alleviate some of the pressure men feel. It also gives women the perfect opportunity to broach the subject with their partner, even if he has previously been uncomfortable discussing it.
Understanding that lasting for a long time isn’t necessarily the Holy Grail when it comes to performance can help men in terms of dealing with the pressure and anxiety premature ejaculation can create. But it also makes it easier for women to approach their partner and tell him exactly what she wants – especially when it focuses on sexual play that doesn’t necessarily include penetrative sex.
This latest research on ejaculation control and the affect it has on both partners in a relationship may be the key many couples need to finally break through the silence and deal with the condition head on. More importantly, it can also provide insight into how men and women see sex differently and how taking the time to understand each other’s point of view can lead to better, more fulfilling and more satisfying sex for each of them.
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